Consent is when someone agrees, or says "yes" to activity with others. Consent must be freely given, meaning that the person feels that they are able to say "yes" or "no” at any time. Consent to sex cannot be given if someone is incapacitated due to alcohol or other drugs. It is also not consensual when someone uses pressure, intimidation, fear, or force to make a person agree to participate in a sexual act: That’s sexual assault.
Consent is verbally communicated. It is a conversation. This means that even though nonverbal cues are important, they are not enough. A person has to say what they want in words in order for consent to be present.
Consent is an ongoing conversation. That means that everyone involved is checking in with each other throughout the sexual activity. When people continue to communicate, it helps them make sure that they are on the same page. It also makes it easier for someone to express that they would like to do something different, or stop.
Consent is mutual, meaning that everyone involved gives their agreement. It means that sexual activity is reciprocal—a shared experience that people are willing and excited to be a part of.
Consent is enthusiastic. All parties involved should be willing, eager and interested. If Someone is hesitant, or just doesn’t seem that into it, that’s not consent.
At the end of the day, we want everyone who chooses to participate in sex to have mutually satisfying, pleasurable experiences!
https://sapac.umich.edu/article/49: Check out how The University of Michigan Sexual Assault Prevention and Awareness Center defines sexual consent for their students.
http://www.scarleteen.com/article/abuse_assault/drivers_ed_for_the_sexual_superhighway_navigating_consent: Check out Scarleteen's Guide for more information on consent-- and how to have consent conversations.
http://http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/yes_no_maybe_so_a_sexual_inventory_stocklist: This is a great resource for thinking about some of the choices you have in deciding what to do with your body and your partner. A fun list to look at together!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGoWLWS4-kU: Watch this video to learn more about consent through a simple metaphor: drinking tea.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=laMtr-rUEmY: This video explores consent through the metaphor of asking someone to borrow their phone.
http://plsplsme.com/: A free, downloadable app that can help you explore intimacy consensually with a partner.